I know you don't want daemons, Kendall... but if you use syndaemon you can have the touchpad be automatically disabled while typing and re-enabled a specified time after typing stops. You can also configure udev to disable the touchpad automatically when an external mouse is plugged in. I suppose that should cover most of the touchpad complaints.
http://wiki.archlinux.org/index.php/Touchpad_Synaptics






