Yes you can sync your music using banshee. There is also a program called open sync, not sure if it's in the repos as I'm posting from my Desire HD Android phone.
I know this isn't very helpful, except to let you know it is possible, but my Dhd works 100% the same on lmde as on any other distro. I can mount my sd card, do usb tethering, and mod my phone via adb and fastboot.
Do you have the latest kernel updates installed? Did you wait a few seconds for the mount to appear in Nautilus? Can you confirm the phone is connected at all?
Try to type "lsusb | grep "High Tech Computer Corp" in a terminal. Then you can see if the device is even on the usb bus, a good place to start.
--- I am geek. Hear me squeek. ---