Maybe I'm over analyzing the question, but am II right in understanding that you just don't want icons on your desktop? At all? Of any sort?
The solution is actually quite simple: Just don't put any there.
To get rid of My Computer, Trash, and any mounted volume icons, hit alt+f2 and enter "gconf-editor". Navigate to apps>nautilus>desktop and untick Show Computer Icon, Show Trash Icon, and Show Mounted Volumes.
After that, you should have a clean, iconless desktop.
If I understood your question wrong, disregard anything I said and wait for another reply.
AMD Phenom II X6 1045T 2.8GHz 8GB DDR3 RAM ATI Radeon HD6970