Glad you appreciated the humour, but it did have a serious message behind it.
I started using linux 10 years ago. Back then touchpads did not work well with Linux. 10 years down the line and they still don't work well with Linux. Of course you could always wait another 10 years and see how things go or you could do as I do and use a mini-mouse instead.
Fujitsu Lifebook AH532. Intel i5 processor, 6Gb ram, Intel HD3000 graphics, Intel Audio/wifi. Realtek RTL8111/8168B Ethernet.Lubuntu 13.10,Ubuntu12.10 (Unity), Mint16 (Cinnamon), Manjaro (Xfce).