Christmas, perhaps the most beloved and despised holiday of all time.
According to Christian belief Jesus was born on this day (though he might have been born in march or april)
Now I wont get into the debate on the "true meaning" of Christmas, nor argue its religious background.
No I wish to alert you to the fact that Christmas is actually a evil, nasty holiday that should be banned from all forms of existence.
My reasons? Well lets lets list them shall we?
First is the terrible conditions happening in the north pole, for practically 365 days a year elves are severely mistreated and forced to do slave labor.
Now from all we know the elves of the north pole appear happy and content, but this is really not so.
The slavedriving man in the red suit who shall remain nameless treats these kind and gentile creatures like dirt.
How much cruelty must these elves suffer before they get equal representation?
Then there is the severe abuse of this persons reindeer each year, first they have to learn how to fly, a normally impossible feat by normal standards.
Now we are lead to believe that fairy dust is supposed to power these poor creatures, but not only do they have to fly, but they have to transverse a great amount of distance in such short time.
This sort of animal cruelty is very unwelcome, and I am sure PETA will have a field day at whats his names workshop.
Then there is the big red guy himself, who not only commits breaking and entering but leaves potentially dangerous items behind, items that can possibly have some sort of recall attached to them!
Now who do we contact if our George Foreman Grills explode?
Barbies head comes off?
That fruit cake causes food poisoning?
we certainly could not contact Salton, Matel or Aunt Gertrude who is always making terrible fruit cakes no matter what day it is...
really if I had it my way the north poll shut down, and have its poor tortured occupants freed and given their own country far away from this tyrant known as "Santa".
:p








