My darling Bianca,
When I first saw you, and found out that you were available, I wanted you to be mine. I was willing to pay but I was told that you will work for free. I wanted to have you all to myself, but I realised that by distributing you to my friends that you would get even better.
You knew what to do when I told you to fsck, and you were always compliant, even when it seemed that all I wanted was access to root.
You had aptitude for finding just what I wanted and you provided plenty of other helpful services, too. You let me watch DVDs and play games, and didn't seem to mind that I wasn't giving you much attention.
Bianca, I'm going to leave you for another woman. Her name is Cassandra and she will arrive shortly.
You have served me well, it's just that Cassandra offers so much more. Please don't let me break your kernel, because I need to use you until she arrives.