1. Mint slower than xbuntu - I haven't experienced this at all. Have you made sure that frequency scaling is off? That's really the only thing I can think of. There's no reason Mint would have a memory leak that xbuntu doesn't
2. You should be able to right click the menu and click edit.
3. The general solution for flash related problems is
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apt remove --purge flashplugin-nonfree & apt install adobe-flashplugin
But it's generally known that the flash packaging for Linux is not very good. Once again, this should be no different on Mint than it is in xbuntu.
4. In order to do anything about the sound, we need more information. Post the output of