Favorite internet quotes

[karliet]

This thread is for posting quotes you have read online or just quotes you find funny or to your own preference
some of mine are:
*The box said ‘Required Windows 95 or better’. So, I installed Linux.
*I don’t care if the software I run is unstable crap, as long as it is the LATEST unstable crap. — Lennart A. Hansen
*Does fuzzy logic tickle?
*If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
*Who the heck is General Failure? And why is he trying to read my hard disk?

what are some of yours? (EDIT: please keep it G rated) we don't know if any younger viewers are browsing

[Detonate]

"I invented the internet." Al Gore

[karliet]

"I invented the internet." Al Gore

well he IS "super cerial"

[xenopeek]

I'm horrible at remember quotes Good at laughing though The “You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.” had me in stitches Neither the paperclip nor the dog in Windows' search was ever of any help to me...

[vrkalak]

"I don't try to be a threat to MicroSoft, mainly because I don't really see MS as competition.
Especially, not Windows - the goals of Linux and Windows are simply, so different."
--- Linus Torvalds



Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux; which just tells me, they have never seen an angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what they say if they had.
--- Linus Torvalds, announcing Linux v2.0

[vrkalak]

******** W A R N I N G ! **************************************
Linux should not be used by those under the influence of MicroSoft.
May cause dizziness or vertigo. Consult your tech support before
using Linux. (note--after using Linux, you may notice extreme
discomfort when using MicroSoft. Discontinue use of MicroSoft.)
************************************** W A R N I N G ! ********

[dagon]

More Torvalds:

Really, I'm not out to destroy Microsoft. That will just be a completely unintentional side effect.

Microsoft isn't evil, they just make really crappy operating systems.

[lmintnewb]

If ya want something done right ... Ya probably better off not asking me to do it.

When ya have nothing worthwhile to add to a dialogue. Just babble off a buncha nonsense. Most people do it their entire lives and still live to a ripe old age.

Who said it ? .... drum rollz .... me.

Would really like to contribute summin worthwhile to this thread. But all my favorite quotes are dirty. Messing round folks, think I'm over my dorky post limit though. Perhaps be back later if extreme boredom sets in. Long live Mr. Torvald !

[minitrucker]

wish I could contribute for real but I just wanted to say my use of the terminal makes day (and my facebook status) sometimes

[lmintnewb]

Oooo oooo, thought of one more and had to doubleback.

I shall now boot into a respectable operating system. Which any reasonably tech literate person will tell ya. Is a nice way of saying anything not made by Micro$oft.

(edit) That's better ... thought of one more, arghhh. Am in one of my occasional M$ despising/bashing moods. Must've been the Torvald quotes. Is both funny and true though. Here goes.

It's not just a question of technical and ethical shortcomings that force me to dislike M$. There's more to it than that.

It's not only that they sell overpriced, bloated, security hole ridden poopware. When people can get better for free.
It's not that they've been caught countless times doing illegal and immoral things in the interest of boundless corporate greed.
Isn't the fact that they've probably stunted technology by decades so they could maintain a PC monopoly and continue bilking the masses out of 10's of billions.
Nor even that M$ literally has much innocent blood on it's hands. Because the world govts are more than happy to take "campaign contributions" from sleazebag corps like M$. Rather than looking out for the best interests of their people. Money that should've been spent to help those people. Goes into the pockets of Corp's like M$ instead. ( ie: Est that the US govt alone could save in excess of 9 billion dollars a year AND get better software in many cases by switching to opensource.)

Even putting all of those foul things aside, I still have issues with Micro$oft. Bill gates named an entire corporation after hiz own <censored>. No matter how ya look at it, that's just pure arrogance and wrong on sooooo many levels.

[richyrich]

(may he rest in peace)

"I hope that every customer, artist and music company executive takes a moment today to reflect on what we've achieved together during the past three years. Over 1 billion songs have now been legally purchased and downloaded around the globe, representing a major force against music piracy and the future of music distribution as we move from CDs to the Internet."
Steve Jobs

[The Bunyip]

These quotes might not be from the net, but I thought they might be worth sharing

Ever thought your time could be better spent

was something I received at work from a supplier who wanted my boss to upgrade his filing system from paper to electronic

and

Be generous:
Give your problems away!

not sure of the origin

[richyrich]

ASIO is a trademark of Steinberg Media Technologies GmbH. Everything else on this page, including the numbers 16, 48 and 100 is or may become a trademark of Microsoft, Corp., except for trademarks of their respective owners that are used for product identification purposes only. The rest, as well as the stuff mentioned above that has not yet become a trademark of Microsoft, Corp. is Copyright(c)2003-2007, Michael Tippach.

http://www.asio4all.com/

[karliet]

This may be a little outdated, but the windows one still stands
Use The Best…
Linux for Servers
Mac for Graphics
Palm for Mobility
Windows for Solitaire
(edit: Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk.)

[xenopeek]

Meh. I use Linux for Solitaire also

[fbsduser]

Computers and air conditioners have something in common. They stop working when you open windows.

[Dry Lips]

Computers and air conditioners have something in common. They stop working when you open windows.

That's yet another Linus Torvalds quote, innit?

[karliet]

I just read this one and it made me laugh so hard

People say that if you play Microsoft CD’s backwards, you hear satanic things, but that’s nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.

[SimonTS]

How about...

The Internet;-
Where men are men,
Women are men,
and children are FBI agents

[karliet]

C://dos
C://dos.run
run.dos.run

How do I set a laser printer to stun?