Computer related jokes

[austin.texas]

Even dumb people can use computers...many do.

So you get... Windows 8

[wanderer7]

Even dumb people can use computers...many do.

So you get... Windows 8

[wanderer7]

Bill Gates eventually arrives at the the day of judgement.

St. Peter greets him, and explains that while he did contribute a lot of money to charities, he also ripped a lot of people off when they were forced to pay for his software if they wanted to buy a piece of hardware from a store.

St. Peter says that under the circumstances, he will give Gates the choice of going to heaven or going to hell, and offers a tour. Gates accepts, and first St. peter takes him to heaven. In heaven, Gates sees a very serene place, with people discussing philosophy and walking together through a wooded landscape.

They then move on to hell. Gates sees a big beach party, with everyone fornicating, smoking cigarettes, eating gourmet food, and drinking.

When Gates is asked, he chooses to go to hell, and is immediately plunged into a firey furnace with the screams of tortured souls deafening him.

"Hey, St. Pete, what's all this?" screams Gates "Where's the beach party?".
"Oh, I only showed you the demo version." St.Peter replies.
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This one is from gnu.org

[Brain Virus]

Its not a bug....

[RacerBG]

A picture is worth a thousand words:

[austin.texas]

A picture is worth a thousand words:

And how many monkeys on how many computers did it take?

[eanfrid]

Classics...

"There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine." --Abraham Lincoln

[Pilosopong Tasyo]

Reposting this from 4 years ago:

Tech Support | California, USA

Caller: “I need to report a very serious computer crime! The local university is running an illegal computer system!”

Me: “Could you please repeat that?”

Caller: “The local university is running an illegal computer system! They’ve hacked it!”

Me: “How could you tell they’d hacked it?”

Caller: “Well, when it booted, it didn’t say Windows or Microsoft or anything! It said something about Deviant Linux, I think, and the main screen looked nothing like my good, legal Windows screen at home! I think they hacked that, too!”

Me: “Do you mean Debian Linux?”

Caller: “Yes, that! Is it some sort of computer mafia or something?”

Me: “Uh, no, it’s just a different operating system. Nothing to worry about.”

Caller: “But it’s illegal! It’s not Microsoft, not even Windows! They’re on a normal Microsoft computer, so they’re breaking the law! I think they stole my identity when I came in the building! I’m calling the FBI!” *hangs up*

[jahid]

Reposting this from 4 years ago:

Tech Support | California, USA
..........................................................................................................................................
Me: “Do you mean Debian Linux?”

Caller: “Yes, that! Is it some sort of computer mafia or something?”

this part is really something else.

[Previous1]

this part is really something else

I'm sure this actually happened ...

[RacerBG]

A picture is worth a thousand words:

And how many monkeys on how many computers did it take?

It's simple - the monkeys created Windows 8 designed for monkeys. I can't answer your question unfortunately.

[Previous1]

And how many monkeys on how many computers did it take?

According to the zoo keeper, over 3 million.

[The-Wizard]

at the end of a long tech support call

"" well sir we have now tracked the problem. you have a RFM fault""

" is it serious"







""no sir just READ THE FRIGGING MANUAL""

[Crewp]

Good one Wizard, Hey, did you lose your avatar again?

[TechGuyAndrew]

There is no place like 127.0.0.1

[austin.texas]

And there is no place like /home

[RacerBG]

What happened to me at 15th of February this year:

georgi@PC ~ $ sudo apt-get install girlfriend
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
E: Unable to locate package girlfriend

What a bad luck I have!

[wanderer7]

Computer: Please, press any key.
User: But where's this any-key?!

[jahid]

What happened to me at 15th of February this year:

georgi@PC ~ $ sudo apt-get install girlfriend
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
E: Unable to locate package girlfriend

What a bad luck I have!

15th february?, i see...
the repository was outdated........
find new sources which will supposedly work upto next 14th february or find Long Term Supported (LTS) sources....

[wanderer7]

Do you agree?