I take it nobody in Linux-Mint land has any idea about what to do.
At least my desktop is now stable -- I threw out the noveau Nvidia driver. Consequently, the desktop is now stable, so I don't need ssh to kill and restart KDE anymore.
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# grep -Ev $'^[ \t]*($|#)' hosts.{allow,deny}
hosts.allow:ALL: 172.16.16.*
# ps -f -C sshd
UID PID PPID C STIME TTY TIME CMD
root 4583 1 0 14:26 ? 00:00:00 /usr/sbin/sshd -D
# ufw status
Status: inactive
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$ ssh -vvvv me@bach
OpenSSH_7.6p1, LibreSSL 2.6.2
debug1: Reading configuration data /Users/me/.ssh/config
debug1: Reading configuration data /etc/ssh/ssh_config
debug1: /etc/ssh/ssh_config line 48: Applying options for *
debug2: ssh_connect_direct: needpriv 0
debug1: Connecting to bach port 22.
ssh: connect to host bach port 22: Connection refused
Help, please?