Computer related jokes

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JohnBobSmith
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by JohnBobSmith » Fri May 29, 2015 6:28 pm

Glad you enjoyed the laugh Crewp. :) :lol:
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If you want to change the world, start by changing yourself.
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reddot
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by reddot » Sat Jun 06, 2015 11:35 pm

I noticed it takes forever to load images(in this thread) on slow connections so ill link them instead

professional laptop cleaning
http://s21.postimg.org/qhytmmnbb/84492780.jpg

printing not available in printer
http://s21.postimg.org/6bvbnqrnr/84591502.jpg

owning windows processes
http://s21.postimg.org/pi8iqx85j/84604179.jpg

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Reorx
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Reorx » Fri Jun 12, 2015 12:48 am

From the "Fact Stranger Than Fiction" file (Imagine the possibilities!) >>>
MS_Xenix.png
<click to enlarge>
Full time Linux Mint user since 2011 - Currently running LM17C64 on my production machines.
Currently testing LM19C64 - Lookin' good so far!
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JohnBobSmith
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by JohnBobSmith » Mon Jun 15, 2015 4:39 pm

Here's "99 Bottles of Beer on The Wall" programmer version: 99 bugs in the programmers code, 99 bugs in his code! He squashes one now, tosses the code around and ends up with 127 bugs in his code!

How do you kill a programmer? Easy. Give him a bottle of shampoo that has the following directions: Wet hair, lather with shampoo, rinse shampoo, repeat. Make sure that it only says repeat, and not "repeat until desired effect is achieved" otherwise he may exit the loop early!

A boss of a major technological company is found dead. Upon questioning the lead programmer, he says "I was working on module d-thirty-four seven-h, to pass along to my boss". How do the detectives know the lead programmer murdered the boss? Answer: d-thirty-four seven-h can be written as D347H (DEATH), which the lead programmer gave to his boss.

A lazy programmer was having trouble remembering the math formula pi*r**2 (pi-r-squared). When it finally clicked to him, his peers were perplexed that he had used the variable z to represent the radius. Upon being asked about it, the lazy programmer said: "Heres why I used z. If p*r**2 = a, and you replace the 'r' with a 'z', you get pi*z**2 = a, and since anything squared is the number multiplied by itself, you get pi*z*z = a! You get a whole pizza! No toppings though..."
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If you want to change the world, start by changing yourself.
Success is often 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
You get one shot at life, so live to the maximum, not the minimum.

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jahid
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by jahid » Mon Jun 15, 2015 9:11 pm

JohnBobSmith wrote:Make sure that it only says repeat, and not "repeat until desired effect is achieved" otherwise he may exit the loop early!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
jahid@HP ProBook 440 G1 Laptop

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reddot
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by reddot » Thu Jul 16, 2015 4:52 pm

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DeMus
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by DeMus » Tue Jul 21, 2015 4:17 pm

computer-science-jokes.jpeg

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reddot
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by reddot » Tue Jul 21, 2015 8:33 pm

Image

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Fred Barclay
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Fred Barclay » Wed Jul 22, 2015 9:05 pm

"Emacs is a great operating system, lacking only a decent editor."

GNU-EMACS: Generally Not Used, Except by Middle-Aged Computer Scientists

And to show that I'm not partial:

"It’s true that vi vi vi is the editor of the beast, but using a free version of vi is not a sin, it’s a penance.” --Richard Stallman

"Vi has only two modes: 'beep repeatedly' and 'break everything'."


Seriously, though, can you imagine what any Windows users would think if they saw this? 9 out of 10 wouldn't even have a clue what we're referring to. :lol:
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Fred Barclay
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Fred Barclay » Thu Jul 23, 2015 10:23 am

"Hi! I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than any administrator."
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"Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy."
- Albert Einstein

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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by DeMus » Thu Jul 23, 2015 2:01 pm

https://www.google.nl/search?q=computer ... uter+jokes

Saves me a lot of copying and pasting.

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jahid
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by jahid » Fri Jul 31, 2015 3:02 am

Hotmail password requires to be less than 16 characters...LOL...
jahid@HP ProBook 440 G1 Laptop

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Pilosopong Tasyo
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Pilosopong Tasyo » Fri Jul 31, 2015 6:46 am

Just in case this hasn't been posted already: espdiff manpage
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Asim
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Asim » Fri Jul 31, 2015 4:26 pm

Something Happened
Something Happened

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killer de bug
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by killer de bug » Fri Jul 31, 2015 4:33 pm

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If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.

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reddot
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by reddot » Fri Jul 31, 2015 6:29 pm

jahid wrote:Hotmail password requires to be less than 16 characters...LOL...
hehe, i cant remember if hotmail also does not accept "white spaces", "minus" or "underline".
i was having issues with changing one of my aol email accounts it would not take the above. not sure about how many char thou
16 char is not that bad right? i cant remember recently i changed a password with a max of 14 char <--LOL

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ATM on either bad key or trial :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

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jahid
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by jahid » Sat Aug 01, 2015 10:20 am

reddot wrote: 16 char is not that bad right?
It's bad for me, My mostly used passwords are more than 16 chars long....
jahid@HP ProBook 440 G1 Laptop

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reddot
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by reddot » Tue Aug 04, 2015 3:34 am

jahid wrote:
reddot wrote: 16 char is not that bad right?
It's bad for me, My mostly used passwords are more than 16 chars long....
for about 19 years(1995-2014) i been using 6-8 char passwords, sometimes worse like 2 char for login to desktop or bios <--- :oops: :oops: :oops:

now i dont know any of my passwords anymore, i use keepassX. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
if i can, i use 24 or more, with all possible options,
its really scary to loose your kdb database or loose access, of course i backup!!!

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RacerBG
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by RacerBG » Tue Aug 04, 2015 12:47 pm

Kids, Bill Gates have a lesson for you:

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Proud of Linux Mint!

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JohnBobSmith
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by JohnBobSmith » Wed Aug 05, 2015 8:50 am

Haha RacerBG, that is funny! At least Bill Gates can count past 3. :lol:
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If you want to change the world, start by changing yourself.
Success is often 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
You get one shot at life, so live to the maximum, not the minimum.

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