Computer related jokes

[JohnBobSmith]

Glad you enjoyed the laugh Crewp.

[reddot]

I noticed it takes forever to load images(in this thread) on slow connections so ill link them instead

professional laptop cleaning
http://s21.postimg.org/qhytmmnbb/84492780.jpg

printing not available in printer
http://s21.postimg.org/6bvbnqrnr/84591502.jpg

owning windows processes
http://s21.postimg.org/pi8iqx85j/84604179.jpg

[Reorx]

From the "Fact Stranger Than Fiction" file (Imagine the possibilities!) >>>

MS_Xenix.png

[JohnBobSmith]

Here's "99 Bottles of Beer on The Wall" programmer version: 99 bugs in the programmers code, 99 bugs in his code! He squashes one now, tosses the code around and ends up with 127 bugs in his code!

How do you kill a programmer? Easy. Give him a bottle of shampoo that has the following directions: Wet hair, lather with shampoo, rinse shampoo, repeat. Make sure that it only says repeat, and not "repeat until desired effect is achieved" otherwise he may exit the loop early!

A boss of a major technological company is found dead. Upon questioning the lead programmer, he says "I was working on module d-thirty-four seven-h, to pass along to my boss". How do the detectives know the lead programmer murdered the boss? Answer: d-thirty-four seven-h can be written as D347H (DEATH), which the lead programmer gave to his boss.

A lazy programmer was having trouble remembering the math formula pi*r**2 (pi-r-squared). When it finally clicked to him, his peers were perplexed that he had used the variable z to represent the radius. Upon being asked about it, the lazy programmer said: "Heres why I used z. If p*r**2 = a, and you replace the 'r' with a 'z', you get pi*z**2 = a, and since anything squared is the number multiplied by itself, you get pi*z*z = a! You get a whole pizza! No toppings though..."

[jahid]

Make sure that it only says repeat, and not "repeat until desired effect is achieved" otherwise he may exit the loop early!

[reddot]

[DeMus]

computer-science-jokes.jpeg

[reddot]

[Fred Barclay]

"Emacs is a great operating system, lacking only a decent editor."

GNU-EMACS: Generally Not Used, Except by Middle-Aged Computer Scientists

And to show that I'm not partial:

"It’s true that vi vi vi is the editor of the beast, but using a free version of vi is not a sin, it’s a penance.” --Richard Stallman

"Vi has only two modes: 'beep repeatedly' and 'break everything'."


Seriously, though, can you imagine what any Windows users would think if they saw this? 9 out of 10 wouldn't even have a clue what we're referring to.

[Fred Barclay]

"Hi! I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than any administrator."

[DeMus]

https://www.google.nl/search?q=computer ... uter+jokes

Saves me a lot of copying and pasting.

[jahid]

Hotmail password requires to be less than 16 characters...LOL...

[Pilosopong Tasyo]

Just in case this hasn't been posted already: espdiff manpage

[Asim]

Something Happened
Something Happened

[killer de bug]

With the picture and the text


http://bgr.com/2015/07/30/windows-10-so ... r-message/

[reddot]

Hotmail password requires to be less than 16 characters...LOL...

hehe, i cant remember if hotmail also does not accept "white spaces", "minus" or "underline".
i was having issues with changing one of my aol email accounts it would not take the above. not sure about how many char thou
16 char is not that bad right? i cant remember recently i changed a password with a max of 14 char <--LOL


ATM on either bad key or trial

[jahid]

16 char is not that bad right?

It's bad for me, My mostly used passwords are more than 16 chars long....

[reddot]

16 char is not that bad right?

It's bad for me, My mostly used passwords are more than 16 chars long....

for about 19 years(1995-2014) i been using 6-8 char passwords, sometimes worse like 2 char for login to desktop or bios <---

now i dont know any of my passwords anymore, i use keepassX.
if i can, i use 24 or more, with all possible options,
its really scary to loose your kdb database or loose access, of course i backup!!!

[RacerBG]

Kids, Bill Gates have a lesson for you:

[JohnBobSmith]

Haha RacerBG, that is funny! At least Bill Gates can count past 3.