Windows comedy hour

[Jaydemir]

So there's times having to deal with Windows is frustrating, but there's also times where Windows is just so darn broken that it's downright funny.

This particular instance is happening as we speak. I'm trying to get an old Gaming PC ready for resale, and Windows has a feature to wipe the drive and reinstall itself (Which I'd prefer because I'd rather not download the iso, create a boot image and install it all over again.)

Tell me what operating system on the planet FAILS to do a factory reset THREE consecutive times. LOL. To the point where it actually stops doing the factory reset, UNDOES the factory reset, and leaves my data where it is.

So me and my buddy are just having a laugh about it, cracking stupid jokes like "If Microsoft made vacuums, it would finally make something that doesn't suck."

Now I haven't gotten it to successfully reset yet, but I have a theory:
What if Windows, after completing the reset, asks me "How would you rate the experience of resetting your PC?" (given how data-gathery M$ is these days)
The problem is I'm torn between 1 - Terrible, and 10 out of 10 would wipe again.

Anyway, I'm curious if anyone else ever had seen things about Windows that were so broken it was just plain funny.

[richyrich]

Haha, thx for the morning chuckle . .

Anyway, I'm curious if anyone else ever had seen things about Windows that were so broken it was just plain funny.

Let's see . . Windows ME, Windows Vista, Windows 8 . . miss anything ? lol

[Faust]

....
Anyway, I'm curious if anyone else ever had seen things about Windows that were so broken it was just plain funny.

Windows update handling for everything before W10 ....
.... not too sure about it being funny , now I come to think about it

[JerryF]

...
Anyway, I'm curious if anyone else ever had seen things about Windows that were so broken it was just plain funny.

Yes, the supposed built-in Troubleshooter. Has never fixed anything for me or when I'm working on someone else's computer.

[Jedinovice]

Like a lot of people I liked Windows 95. Well, in terms of UI. One of the reasons I iike KDE like I do is that it feels like the Windows 95 UI but developed and improved while Windows itself lurched from 98 onwards from one fad to another and largely forgot what a desktop UI was about. Arguably Windows 85 was the only time Microsoft took the UI seriously.

But... it was horribly unstable! Windows 95 was such a mass of fudged code, 16 and 32 bit components crowbarred together, the old DOS kernel trying to work the old DOS way with the Windows components trying to do things the pre-emptive multitasking way... that Windows was at war with itself. With Windows 95 you could turn on your desktop tower PC first thing in the morning, do NOTHING, get called away for a meeting or just go get a coffee, return and the machine had crashed - BSOD.

Oh yeah, in Windows 3.x there was a problem with the clock. Windows could not keep the time properly. But nobody noticed because Windows 3.x could not run long enough without crashing for the problem to be discovered.

One of the great 'jokes' was the usability project in Windows XP You agreed for Microsoft to pick up telemetrics from your PC so that Microsoft could improve the usability of their software. The project ran for two years and I was part of it for a while.

Result: Windows Vista and Office 2007 with the *shudder* ribbon.

What I really hated about Windows though, the 'jokes' of Microsoft was how Windows was designed to be bad. Just one example - the dreaded registry. Actively designed to kludge and slow your PC down so the IT illiterate would go buy a new computer because their old one was 'too slow to run modern Windows.' If you re-installed the machine would have run at full pace again. Oh yes, if you installed a lot of fonts Windows quickly became unusable. All by design!

Still, a post for another time, but the joke is on Microsoft and Intel now.... But it would be a long post and it's the height of exam season so work is crazy. (Conversely, I have absolutely NO clients for the summer holiday period as EVERYONE goes off on holiday for two months solid!) But the Raspberry Pi - I contend (with good reason) is the end of Windows bar legacy support. The final laugh is with us!

[Jaydemir]

...
Anyway, I'm curious if anyone else ever had seen things about Windows that were so broken it was just plain funny.

Yes, the supposed built-in Troubleshooter. Has never fixed anything for me or when I'm working on someone else's computer.

Funny enough, someone was able to reverse engineer the source code for the built-in Troubleshooter. This is what they found:

[JerryF]

...
Anyway, I'm curious if anyone else ever had seen things about Windows that were so broken it was just plain funny.

Yes, the supposed built-in Troubleshooter. Has never fixed anything for me or when I'm working on someone else's computer.

Funny enough, someone was able to reverse engineer the source code for the built-in Troubleshooter. This is what they found:

[killer de bug]

Windows Vista

This one was really broken.

[Citizen229]

I dont know KDB, vista was pretty darn nice compared to working on a ME computer.

[vladtepes]

Windows has a feature to wipe the drive and reinstall itself...

I think it has that OPTION rather than that FUNCTIONALITY.

Tell me what operating system on the planet FAILS to do a factory reset THREE consecutive times. LOL. To the point where it actually stops doing the factory reset, UNDOES the factory reset, and leaves my data where it is.

Yes, Microsoft is so attached to their conviction that there is no better OS and therefore nobody would really want to get rid of it, that they make sure it stays....

I too was trying that option to get Windows to remove itself, but it twice got stuck in "Sure you've waited for hours but if you think I'm going to carry on with this OS suicide, you are sadly mistaken" mode.

I was SO happy when I realised that I didn't actually need to remove Windows, and that I could just tell it to kill everything when I installed Linux !


Jaydemir that troubleshooting thing is as funny as... well, it's VERY funny !

Oh yeah, in Windows 3.x there was a problem with the clock. Windows could not keep the time properly. But nobody noticed because Windows 3.x could not run long enough without crashing for the problem to be discovered.

Yes, I miss the days of the BSOD. I think it was a retrograde step when Microsoft replaced this with an endlessly cycling circle icon....
At least the BSOD had a finality about it. The circling icon holds out hope to the inexperienced that the problem might be fixed any second now, if they just wait.... Ultimately crushing their souls.

[Jedinovice]

I dont know KDB, vista was pretty darn nice compared to working on a ME computer.

Or Windows 8.x.

VIsta was broken in so many ways but you could copy files and run up Office on it.
Windows 8...? Nobody could use the thing!!!

That was one of Microsoft's greatest 'jokes.'

[killer de bug]

I dont know KDB, vista was pretty darn nice compared to working on a ME computer.

Warning, exe files may be dangerous. Do you want to execute it. Yes... Warning. Do you have admin right to execute this file? Yes...

Updates are available, I will reboot in 59 minutes.... You can postpone it. Oh you are not available and not in front of the system? Then I hope you saved everything, because I will reboot.

/me trying to save a file on the Hard drive. Sorry you don't have the right to save the file on this disk. Wait what???? This is my laptop, with only one user, and I can't save a file on the HD?
I had to use a USB stick and then to reboot to solve this issue.

The next day, Linux Mint 8 was running on the laptop.

[jerson]

Does this say something to you?

http://www.financialexpress.com/industr ... hy/644464/

[Pierre]

Yup - - those Updates

.. the Windows 10 < Forced > update
as in - the number of times, that it failed .. ..

or - - the Number of People, who complained, about it.


and, in the above post, where their servers can't cope.


whereas - anything MS related - - is an disaster waiting to happen.

[mariad_10]

End is near.

[vladtepes]

- anything MS related - - is an disaster waiting to happen.

Rubbish ! It's a disaster in progress !

[CoffeeFiend]

Windows ME - a completely rushed failure that sought to sell based off the the trendy term "Millenium".

Windows 8 - Metro view. Need I say more? Ok, maybe a little more. Metro view was great for tablets and laptops with touchscreen. Desktops and laptops without touchscreen, not so much. It was so bad and had so many user complaints that Microsoft had to release the 8.1 update to bring back the Start menu.

[Jedinovice]

Windows ME - a completely rushed failure that sought to sell based off the the trendy term "Millenium".

Windows 8 - Metro view. Need I say more? Ok, maybe a little more. Metro view was great for tablets and laptops with touchscreen. Desktops and laptops without touchscreen, not so much. It was so bad and had so many user complaints that Microsoft had to release the 8.1 update to bring back the Start menu.

They didn't bring back the start menu in 8.1. They only allowed a button to return to Metro mode from 'Classic mode' And that button replaced the start button so you still had no access to your classic apps via the old start menu.

The only chance you had was to install 'classic shell.'

The Start menu was only restored with Windows 10 but now with the added benefit of it eating up 85% of your screen space.

[CoffeeFiend]

Windows ME - a completely rushed failure that sought to sell based off the the trendy term "Millenium".

Windows 8 - Metro view. Need I say more? Ok, maybe a little more. Metro view was great for tablets and laptops with touchscreen. Desktops and laptops without touchscreen, not so much. It was so bad and had so many user complaints that Microsoft had to release the 8.1 update to bring back the Start menu.

They didn't bring back the start menu in 8.1. They only allowed a button to return to Metro mode from 'Classic mode' And that button replaced the start button so you still had no access to your classic apps via the old start menu.

The only chance you had was to install 'classic shell.'

The Start menu was only restored with Windows 10 but now with the added benefit of it eating up 85% of your screen space.

Ok, thanks for the correction.

[Jedinovice]

Windows ME - a completely rushed failure that sought to sell based off the the trendy term "Millenium".

Windows 8 - Metro view. Need I say more? Ok, maybe a little more. Metro view was great for tablets and laptops with touchscreen. Desktops and laptops without touchscreen, not so much. It was so bad and had so many user complaints that Microsoft had to release the 8.1 update to bring back the Start menu.

They didn't bring back the start menu in 8.1. They only allowed a button to return to Metro mode from 'Classic mode' And that button replaced the start button so you still had no access to your classic apps via the old start menu.

The only chance you had was to install 'classic shell.'

The Start menu was only restored with Windows 10 but now with the added benefit of it eating up 85% of your screen space.

Ok, thanks for the correction.

No worries.