I've been looking for a "home" online

[gregoryshock]

For several years I've been looking for a "home" online. I think too many people make facebook their home on the Internet. I actually got kicked off of facebook for my attempt at using it to meet new people. Most people don't seem to know that if you send too many friend requests at once, or try to over use the private message system on that site, it will throw you a warning telling you that your doing it too fast, and to slow down, or it will deactivate your account. At the time I was experiencing conflicting feelings for facebook environment . Now days I think getting kicked off of facebook was probably one of the better things that happened to me. The content was causing me great depression and some other emotions that might violate the terms of this site for me to mention. I've done my research and learned that what I'm describing has happened to others. It seems to a personality thing, where you just don't feel right in the facebook social environment. On top of all of that I learned facebook conducted emotional experiments on it's users without them knowing it. They changed the news feed so that x number of people got all negative news while others got all the positive news just to see how much power they had to influence people. If you don't believe me, go ahead and do your own research.

I've been trying to find a non mainstream forum site where I can interact with people, but it tries to keep it's self clean of most of the adult junk that often gets circulated on sites like twitter and instagram, etc.

[vladtepes]

Yes getting off facebook is likely a very positive thing.
It's mostly rubbish.

[lsemmens]

Faceache in my household is a necessary evil. It's about the only place I get to find out what my kids and their kids are up to. (Yes we DO talk in RL but they live all over the country, so don't see some of them as often as we'd like.)

[Moem]

It's not easy... Facebook did a decent job of cornering the market. Maybe you'll find something useful here.

[Faust]

It's not easy... Facebook did a decent job of cornering the market. Maybe you'll find something useful here.

Hey Moem , cool blog !

I'm thinking that maybe Mark is not on your christmas card list -

It riles me that Facebook compiles profiles on people who are not even members !

I ask friends who may have me in group pictures to please never tag me , or ideally , to remove the photo ,
not that anything is ever truly deleted at the Facebook end ( except maybe for German citizens ?? )
They have way too much private data for any company to hold , and without any realistic and effective auditing ,
( but I guess the same could be said for credit reference agencies ).

Now I'm going to report myself for being off topic ..... knee-jerk reaction to bash FB whenever possible -

Getting back to the OP and the desire to find a " home " .
I feel the same way , but I think there are two major obstacles ,and it's the same story for those excellent alternatives to Skype .
The first is convenience ( and ubiquity ) and the other is simply trying to get your contacts to migrate to a new service .

..... but just my 2 baizas worth

[gregoryshock]

Don't worry I'm only mentioning religion because it is a big part of my story. I'm not trying to start a a whole conversation about the topic of religion. Nor am I on am I trying to convert anyone here.

When I say I'm looking for a "home" on the internet. What I actually mean is a place where I can meet people and have casual conversations about anything. I'm not looking to leave Linux Mint forums or any of the other places I'm a member of, it's just that sometimes I need that casual conversation.

I'm a religious person. Back in my earlier days, before everyone started migrating over to fakebook, I used be involved with Christian Social Networking Sites. You'd think that a religious person like myself would fit right in. Ironically I did not! Every website you become involved with has it's own "speciality" Which makes finding a home hard. It's like "Sure I like talking about God and things related, but I don't always want to talk about God and things related" Same with Linux. "Sure I love talking about Linux, but that doesn't mean I always want to talk about Linux" I struggled Socially and with Anxiety. You'd think I would fit in with a Social Anxiety Forum. But I often find myself a mismatch for that as well. I could go on and on, because I have lots of interests and I'm a member of many different "speciality" forums. I'm even a member of several different linux forums, and I bet a lot of you are too!

I remember in my earlier days it was easier to find people to talk too online. But it seems that chatrooms have been going away, being replaced with Instant Messaging programs for smart phones. I don't own a smart phone, and I don't think I even want one. I like my freedom to come and go as I wish. When I'm ready to use a Computer I sit down at a computer. When I want to be away from it all, I just switch everything off. In other words I don't want to be tethered to it all the time.

Even when it was easier for me to find new people to talk too, I found that it became a mess real fast. A lot of those people wanted to use multiple IM programs. I remember having 3 or 4 running all the time, with at least one chatroom running too! Once these people became my "friend" sooner or later I would receive an invite in my email to try yet another social website. I kept wondering how come people were so dissatisfied. Then Fakebook opened up to the public and soon everyone began migrating onto that site. At first I thought it might make my life easier to have everything in one place. But it actually made my friends list a huge mess! Because what fakebook did for me is put me in contact with people I met online and people I knew in real life (Work etc.) and I also met a few new people on fakebook. All that didn't go together very well. It's not like in real life, where things are more apart.

I think the saddest part of my story is how many people I met over the years, and how I gradually lost contact with every single one of them. It was a real exhausting fight just to keep in touch. That is when I began questioning the whole idea of online friendships. Obviously they weren't really my friends or they would of done their part to help keep things going.

[Portreve]

I'd been hearing up for deleting my own Facebook account for a while. I've finally gotten the last of the people I care about to set up alternate means of contact.

In the words of Cylon centurian #125,896,413, “It is done, Imperius Leader.”

[catweazel]

It's not easy... Facebook did a decent job of cornering the market. Maybe you'll find something useful here.

Neat blog. Well done.

[kenetics]

Lots of good advice in your blog, Moem!

[Portreve]

It's not easy... Facebook did a decent job of cornering the market. Maybe you'll find something useful here.

As always, your work is well-written, thoughtful, and pleasant for native English speakers to read.

Are you sure you're not secretly American?

[Moem]

Thanks all y'all. Now stop it. You're making me blush!

Moem-SPblush.png

[pinballfan]

I struggled Socially and with Anxiety. You'd think I would fit in with a Social Anxiety Forum. But I often find myself a mismatch for that as well.

I think the saddest part of my story is how many people I met over the years, and how I gradually lost contact with every single one of them. It was a real exhausting fight just to keep in touch. That is when I began questioning the whole idea of online friendships. Obviously they weren't really my friends or they would of done their part to help keep things going.

Yeah, I have had the same issue. I've joined/quit social anxiety forums multiple times over the years. Most of the time someone would insult me, or start being crass and obnoxious, yet the mods seem to not only allow it, but encourage it. During the pandemic I really needed some company so I signed up to a forum I'd not joined before. The mods were good and dealt with poor behaviour quickly, but the community were just full of apathy. Next to no one could be bothered to communicate. I'm one of those types who can talk with ease around like minded people, full of energy. But when it comes to going out constantly and being out of my comfort zone, I can't stand it. Most people expect others to go out all the time, and I get shunned for not being part of that. I've been unemployed for a long time, and nobody will help me in any way.

I had some interesting online friends over the years, but have never met any in person, and lost contact with most. It's a shame, but no different to my real life connections. I think people are drawn to new people/experiences and are quick to disregard "old" or "boring" past times.

For some reason a few small niche tech related places seem to be my best fit, hence the reason I'm posting here. I hope others like us can find solace here, and I'd be happy to talk with others who suffer with social anxiety.

[coffee412]

I struggled Socially and with Anxiety. You'd think I would fit in with a Social Anxiety Forum. But I often find myself a mismatch for that as well.

I think the saddest part of my story is how many people I met over the years, and how I gradually lost contact with every single one of them. It was a real exhausting fight just to keep in touch. That is when I began questioning the whole idea of online friendships. Obviously they weren't really my friends or they would of done their part to help keep things going.

Yeah, I have had the same issue. I've joined/quit social anxiety forums multiple times over the years. Most of the time someone would insult me, or start being crass and obnoxious, yet the mods seem to not only allow it, but encourage it. During the pandemic I really needed some company so I signed up to a forum I'd not joined before. The mods were good and dealt with poor behaviour quickly, but the community were just full of apathy. Next to no one could be bothered to communicate. I'm one of those types who can talk with ease around like minded people, full of energy. But when it comes to going out constantly and being out of my comfort zone, I can't stand it. Most people expect others to go out all the time, and I get shunned for not being part of that. I've been unemployed for a long time, and nobody will help me in any way.

I had some interesting online friends over the years, but have never met any in person, and lost contact with most. It's a shame, but no different to my real life connections. I think people are drawn to new people/experiences and are quick to disregard "old" or "boring" past times.

For some reason a few small niche tech related places seem to be my best fit, hence the reason I'm posting here. I hope others like us can find solace here, and I'd be happy to talk with others who suffer with social anxiety.

I had it all through High School and into college. I never knew what to say after "Hello". I also had a hard time remembering names. So, Doing greetings in a social atmosphere was awkward at best. I don't know if its just age or my attempts to beat it that helped. So many people when they get older tend to not really care about the opinions of younger people and consider a lot of them as simply "Wrong".

I frequent certain tech forums because I am (I guess) considered a real geek. I am not into sports as the rest of my family is. So, That limits conversations. Besides, The minute I start to chat about things I.T. related I can see their eyes glass over. However, I enjoy Mechanical things (car repair) and I.T. related things. So, When my family has a problem I am the go to guy. This helps.

I have managed to beat it though. Took years I guess. I still forget names though - thats awkward. However, I learned to use humor to help in conversations. Thats a big help. I have always heard that Actors have issues like this and they cover it up by going into acting. So, Some of the biggest names in acting (past/present) have these issues. Hard to believe but its true.

Hang in there. If you feel like chatting about something then start a thread and include me. Glad to join in and participate.

[gregoryshock]

It has been a while since I've been active on this site! Just yesterday I made a post about a mtp device that won't mount. In the process I noticed in my notifications that someone replied to this thread. Re reading, I noticed that I started this back in 2018! I didn't even remember making this thread here! LOL In recent years, I had to quit the social anxiety sites that I was involved with.