need help wif my hooman

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Portreve
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need help wif my hooman

Post by Portreve »

meow

i understend mi hooman writes his meows here a lot so maybe wun of u hoomanz will know whut to do.

it he spendz a lot of time sitting in front of this box thing staring. i do not no why. i let him know my fuud dish is low or mi watterboll is emtee and it is as tho he doez not heer me or maybe he does not understand. i worry a lot that he may be mentully de-fishint but i kno uthr hoomanz get like this so maybe it is sum kind of muhlaze.

sumtimz i think maybe he has died... i have no idea how he keeps clean... but then he starts to move again, so its not that.

then he leaves the territory for many hours. "i have to deal wif tha hoomanz" he says. not really sure what he does. evuhdentlee it is not to hunt since he never brings fresh killz bak to the territory. but he always comez home very very tired.

do u think their is sumthing wrong wif him?

also i think he may be def. i have to meow a lot at him before he seems to notis. shuud i take him to the vet? he is very old so i not know if i should still considr having him fixed.

any advize wud be apprish upprec uhpresh nevrmind i do not no wut that word means... it wuud be nice if u kuud help him.
Your humble Portreve.

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DAMIEN1307
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Re: need help wif my hooman

Post by DAMIEN1307 »

Hi "meow",

My three formerly feral, rescue cats would never squeel on me like you just did to your human.

They KNOW who provides the kibble and wet food and clean water and kitty litter, though they DO have this bad habit of trying to block the front door when i try to leave the house...lol...i guess i know now who "owns" who...lol...DAMIEN

Ps...
it wuud be nice if u kuud help him.
If you own him like my three own me and make him nothing more than a "cat servant", it is safe to say he is beyond help at this point...lol.
ORDO AB CHAO
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Portreve
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Re: need help wif my hooman

Post by Portreve »

DAMIEN1307 wrote:
Wed Sep 09, 2020 8:57 pm
Hi "meow",

My three formerly feral, rescue cats would never squeel on me like you just did to your human.

They KNOW who provides the kibble and wet food and clean water and kitty litter, though they DO have this bad habit of trying to block the front door when i try to leave the house...lol...i guess i know now who "owns" who...lol...DAMIEN

Ps...
it wuud be nice if u kuud help him.
If you own him like my three own me and make him nothing more than a "cat servant", it is safe to say he is beyond help at this point...lol.
whats-his-sent iz my pet male hooman. i found him mani seezuns ago and hav tryd to rear him the best I cuud. raising pet hoomanz iz very hard an stressful work. u shuud try it sometime. ask yore three (wow, three?!?!?) ownerz.
Your humble Portreve.

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antikythera
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Re: need help wif my hooman

Post by antikythera »

Growlz, theez catz are barkin!
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DAMIEN1307
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Re: need help wif my hooman

Post by DAMIEN1307 »

three (wow, three?!?!?) ownerz.
Yep...three...i trapped them in a havaheart trap here in the high desert in my yard surounded by nothing more than gravel road, cactus, mesquite, etc so they would not become coyote snacks...coyotes here are so brazen, they come right up on my porch to the front door...DAMIEN
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fatso
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Re: need help wif my hooman

Post by fatso »

Normally, I avoid cat stories/pics/etc. like I avoid being set on fire (seems there's always somebody trying to do that), but this is hilarious!!!

Dear meow: DO NOT have your hooman neutered!!! He will cry. A lot. In fact, he may never stop crying. He will be very, very, VERY sad.
Also, if you are wuryd that he's going def, and you really need his attenshun, give him a deep, gushing scratch. You cud also try pooping in his headphones.
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Re: need help wif my hooman

Post by Hoser Rob »

There's a great SF story by Corwainer SMith called The Game of Rat and Dragon, in which humans and cats neurally bond to fight alien nasties. Basically the cats all think we get all fussed about things that aren't important. I think they're right.
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Portreve
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Re: need help wif my hooman

Post by Portreve »

fatso wrote:
Sun Sep 13, 2020 10:17 am
Dear meow: DO NOT have your hooman neutered!!! He will cry. A lot. In fact, he may never stop crying. He will be very, very, VERY sad.
my hooman makz a lot of unplezent soundz now. i do not think i cuud handle ani moar. i will avoid this.

Also, if you are wuryd that he's going def, and you really need his attenshun, give him a deep, gushing scratch. You cud also try pooping in his headphones.
i will tri this tomorrow wile he iz eating his fuud befor he leavz tha territory. it mite save a lot of time becoz it takes him a wile to get tha buttr. i will let u know how it goez.
Your humble Portreve.

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AndyMH
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Re: need help wif my hooman

Post by AndyMH »

Saw the title and immediately thought of the recent "grammar pet peeves", but no...

We have two Siamese, the male is just over a year old, and recently the little bugger has worked out how to open the door to the hall from the lounge (stands on his hing legs and pulls the handle down). So, every night, typically around 4am we get two cats on the bed.

Their other trick is walking behind the TV and turning the sound bar off.
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lsemmens
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Re: need help wif my hooman

Post by lsemmens »

Where's Lister and Rimmer when you need them? Even Holly was a little more sympathetic to your plight.
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antikythera
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Re: need help wif my hooman

Post by antikythera »

Absosmegginglutely!
Don't take life so seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway!
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