Adios my friend

[MurphCID]

My brother in law Jose Manuel is on the long slide. He has mere days if not just hours left, brain cancer having fought him to a stand still. I write this not for sympathy but to memorialize a man who was a good man, a kind man, and one I am proud to know. My brother in law is the oldest of the kids, and for his whole life was fiercely protective of his siblings and their children. Unmarried and childless himself, he threw himself into his family's lives and was always there when you needed someone.

Jose Manuel was one of those people that if he did not have bad luck, he just would not have any luck at all. Life seemed like it was determined to kick him in the face almost every day. Not through anything he did, but just because that was his karma/luck/life. Throughout though I never saw him get down, whine about how unfair things were, or anything like that. He worked for the city of San Antonio till he retired, and after that every business he tried to start failed, not through lack of hard work, or dedication, but just with bad luck.

He had a girlfriend he loved, and wanted to marry, but we discovered that she was sucking him dry of every penny he had. When he gave his heart he did it without reservation, and she took advantage of him. It took him over a decade to dig out of that hole, and during that time he never said a bad word about her, and refused to try and get even. He chalked it up to life. Jose Manuel was one of those men who might not have a great deal but he was always willing to share what little he had with anyone in need. He always said that there were those who needed his help, so he might go hungry if he could give to those who needed it.

Over the years we helped him with things, I gave him a laptop that the girls had outgrown after I had upgraded it as best I could with an SSD, and more ram, and he used that laptop till very recently when he just was unable to use it. He took care of his parents when they were ill, and he was so sick himself that he could barely walk. He never asked for anything, and he accepted any gift with a smile, and a childlike sense of wonder. HE loved his rice, beans, tortillas and was not going to change.

He is one of those people that I, personally, feel blessed to know, and his only 65 years old. He is just one of those people who when you compare your life to his, you feel that you CAN do better, you can live by his example. When we were in need of babysitters he was one of the first to step up along with my mother in law. The girls love Uncle Jose or "Meme" as he was called by the family. My youngest called me yesterday crying inconsolably after my wife send her the text that it was days if not hours. My oldest was less demonstrative, but she just clung to me, and needed me to tell her that Uncle Jose was going to someplace better. My wife has been with him every day recently despite having just recovered herself from COVID. The rest of the family has been taking turns with him to make him comfortable, and to let him know how much we love him.

I spoke to him on the phone last night even though he was not awake to let him know I loved him, and that it was ok, he could rest now. As I said at the beginning, this is not for sympathy, but so that a truly remarkable, caring, decent man is not forgotten.

[rumpus]

How lucky you are to have known such a man and how lucky he is to have such a friend.
Not many are blessed with such a friendship.

I offer you my sympathy and admiration....r

[deepakdeshp]

Murphcid, you have written a very touching and sincere article about your friend and relative. The way he lived his life, I am sure that he didn't have any regrets in his last living and conscious moments.

[Lady Fitzgerald]

I'm so sorry for your friend and your impending loss. Cancer is a horrible disease; brain cancer even more so. I lost an aunt to a brain tumor; she was 64. Mt ex-girlfriend, the only woman I ever truly loved, passed away a year ago from, last August glioblastoma, the same monster that took Senator McCain; she was only 55. The worst part of old age is outliving too many dear ones.

[MurphCID]

Well at 1:45 last night my brother-in-law stepped off of the final journey. My wife was devastated, and I am saddened by his loss. But like I told her he is sitting down up there with a big plate of barbecue, rice, beans, tortillas, and a glass of cold beer kickedback in a beach chair watching the waves come in.

[AZgl1800]

Goodbye to your friend, but he is out of pain now, and living amongst better friends.

[all41]

Well at 1:45 last night my brother-in-law stepped off of the final journey. My wife was devastated, and I am saddened by his loss. But like I told her he is sitting down up there with a big plate of barbecue, rice, beans, tortillas, and a glass of cold beer kickback and a beach chair watching the waves come in.

touching--you lost not a brother-in-law, but a brother indeed
So hard

[Portreve]

My brother in law Jose Manuel is on the long slide. He has mere days if not just hours left, brain cancer having fought him to a stand still. I write this not for sympathy but to memorialize a man who was a good man, a kind man, and one I am proud to know. My brother in law is the oldest of the kids, and for his whole life was fiercely protective of his siblings and their children. Unmarried and childless himself, he threw himself into his family's lives and was always there when you needed someone.

Well at 1:45 last night my brother-in-law stepped off of the final journey. My wife was devastated, and I am saddened by his loss. But like I told her he is sitting down up there with a big plate of barbecue, rice, beans, tortillas, and a glass of cold beer kickedback in a beach chair watching the waves come in.

I waited for events to complete themselves before responding.

I just wanted to say you are a fantastic brother-in-law to José, and you gave him the best, most appropriate memorialization considering what kind of man he was.

And even though you aren't requesting it, please accept my sympathies in this time of loss for you and your wife.

Please be well, the both of you, and remember him always for the wonderful qualities he possessed.

[MurphCID]

Thank you all.