Computer related jokes

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1.618
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by 1.618 » Sun Jan 18, 2015 9:04 am


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Fred Barclay
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Fred Barclay » Tue Jan 20, 2015 12:06 pm

One of Linus Torvald's friends apparently gave this to him.
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"Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy."
- Albert Einstein

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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by nomko » Tue Jan 20, 2015 4:01 pm

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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by nomko » Tue Jan 20, 2015 4:03 pm

Question:
What do houses and Microsoft Windows have in common?





















Answer:
Bugs come in through open Windows

1.618
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by 1.618 » Fri Feb 13, 2015 5:54 am

Saw this online, :D


#‎4e5054‬, #272727, #282828, #292929, ‪#‎2b2b2b‬, ‪#‎2c2c2c‬, ‪#‎2e2e2e‬, #313131, #323232, #343434, #353535, #373737, #393939, ‪#‎3a3a3a‬, ‪#‎3c3c3c‬, ‪#‎3f3f3f‬, #404040, #424242, #444444, #454545, #474747, #484848, ‪#‎4a4a4a‬, ‪#‎4b4b4b‬, ‪#‎4d4d4d‬, ‪#‎4e4e4e‬, #505050, #515151, #535353, #565656, #575757, #585858, #595959, ‪#‎5b5b5b‬, ‪#‎5c5c5c‬, ‪#‎5e5e5e‬, #616161, #626262, #646464, #656565, #676767, ‪#‎6a6a6a‬, ‪#‎6b6b6b‬, ‪#‎6c6c6c‬, ‪#‎6d6d6d‬, ‪#‎6f6f6f‬, #727272, #737373, #757575, #767676, #777777, ‪#‎7b7b7b‬, ‪#‎7c7c7c‬, ‪#‎7d7d7d‬, ‪#‎7e7e7e‬, #808080, #818181, #838383, #868686, #878787, #888888, #898989, ‪#‎8b8b8b‬, ‪#‎8c8c8c‬, ‪#‎8e8e8e‬, #919191, #929292, #949494, #959595, #979797, ‪#‎9a9a9a‬, ‪#‎9b9b9b‬, ‪#‎9c9c9c‬, ‪#‎9d9d9d‬, #9f9f9f, #a0a0a0, #a2a2a2, #a5a5a5, #a6a6a6, #a8a8a8, #a9a9a9, #ababab, #aeaeae, #afafaf, #b0b0b0.




(50 shades of grey)

norm.h
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by norm.h » Sun Feb 22, 2015 10:57 am

Just thought I'd like to share this with you.

Had a phone call yesterday afternoon, from an Asian sounding gentleman, telling me that my computer was running slow, and had been infected with a virus.
The conversation went something like this:

Good afternoon sir. Did you know your computer is running slow?
No, it's not.
Sir, your pc is slow.
How do you know?
We can help you rectify that, sir.
Me, sensing the opportunity for a bit of fun,
How can you do that? Oh, by the way I'm not running Windows, I have Linux.
You have to press the control key and R, and can you see the key with the Windows logo.
Yes
You have to press that, sir.
I told you I haven't a problem, what part of that don't you understand?
Your computer has a virus, sir.
I told you before, I'm not running Windows, I run Linux.
What anti-virus do you use, sir.
None
None?
No, don't need it with Linux.
Don't need it with Linux?
No
I have to pay to renew my anti-virus every year. Think I'll get Linux.
Good idea. Good afternoon.

Maybe we've just got another convert. But then again if they're all like him, I hope not.

Good fun if you have the time (or inclination), otherwise just hang up.

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killer de bug
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by killer de bug » Sun Feb 22, 2015 11:06 am

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If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.

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Flemur
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Flemur » Sun Feb 22, 2015 4:43 pm

bd_errorMsg6.gif
Please edit your original post title to include [SOLVED] if/when it is solved!
Your data and OS are backed up....right?
Mint 18.3 Xfce/fluxbox/pulse-less
Xubuntu 17.10/fluxbox/pulse-less

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Flemur
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Flemur » Sun Feb 22, 2015 4:56 pm

This one was real.
bc_Err_Message1.gif
Please edit your original post title to include [SOLVED] if/when it is solved!
Your data and OS are backed up....right?
Mint 18.3 Xfce/fluxbox/pulse-less
Xubuntu 17.10/fluxbox/pulse-less

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Derek_S
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Derek_S » Sat Mar 21, 2015 4:33 pm

estimation.png
If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed . . . . . oh wait, he does.

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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by lexon » Mon Mar 30, 2015 4:31 pm

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with Windows.

L
Lindows, Linspire, Freespire, Ubuntu, Mint 15 Cinnamon, Mint 16 XFCE, Mint 17 Cinnamon 64 bit. MInt 18 64 bit Cinnamon.

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nomko
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by nomko » Wed Apr 01, 2015 3:48 am

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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by nomko » Wed Apr 01, 2015 3:49 am

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Pilosopong Tasyo
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Pilosopong Tasyo » Sun Apr 12, 2015 3:00 am

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o Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime!
o If an issue has been fixed, please edit your first post and add the word [SOLVED].

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reddot
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by reddot » Sun May 10, 2015 10:34 pm

ok i was lazy to look at all the pages in the thread here are mine

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Monsta
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Monsta » Mon May 11, 2015 8:21 am


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RacerBG
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by RacerBG » Sat May 16, 2015 4:06 pm

Computers are like air coolers, they stop working well when you open windows.
Proud of Linux Mint!

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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Reorx » Sun May 24, 2015 3:32 pm

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JohnBobSmith
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by JohnBobSmith » Fri May 29, 2015 4:40 pm

BSOD: Big, Silly, and Obnoxious Disaster. Comes bundled with Windows.

What do falling objects and Windows have in common? They are both doomed to crash land eventually.

What do physical windows and Microsoft's Windows OS have in common? They both let the bugs in when you open them.

What do a guitar and Microsoft Windows have in common? Nothing. A guitar is easy to use, enjoyable, and can create beautiful music. Windows is a royal pain to use, rather unpleasant, and can create "music" in the sounds of the millions of users crying out in pain and agony each day.


A group of male and female computer science students were having a debate to decide what gender the computer should be. The males thought the computer should be female, because:
-No one understands their logic
-The language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible.
-The error message "invalid command" is about as useful as saying "I am mad at you, but I wont tell you why!"
-Even the smallest of errors are stored in long term memory for eternity.
-As soon as you make a commitment to one, it either gets old really fast or requires half the pay-check worth of accessories.

The female students thought that the computer should be male, because:
-In order to get their attention, you need to turn them on
-Likewise, big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night
-They have a lot of data, but are completely clueless.
-They are supposed to solve problems and make life easier but the reality is they create problems and make life miserable.
-As soon as you make a commitment to one, you regret it within a few years and end up buying a new one anyway.

source for the last one (which I did modify some): http://www.computerjokes.net/058.asp
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Crewp
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Re: Computer related jokes

Post by Crewp » Fri May 29, 2015 5:53 pm

Johnbobsmith, the gender joke was very funny :lol:
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