Computer related jokes
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Re: Computer related jokes
I noticed it takes forever to load images(in this thread) on slow connections so ill link them instead
professional laptop cleaning
http://s21.postimg.org/qhytmmnbb/84492780.jpg
printing not available in printer
http://s21.postimg.org/6bvbnqrnr/84591502.jpg
owning windows processes
http://s21.postimg.org/pi8iqx85j/84604179.jpg
professional laptop cleaning
http://s21.postimg.org/qhytmmnbb/84492780.jpg
printing not available in printer
http://s21.postimg.org/6bvbnqrnr/84591502.jpg
owning windows processes
http://s21.postimg.org/pi8iqx85j/84604179.jpg
Re: Computer related jokes
From the "Fact Stranger Than Fiction" file (Imagine the possibilities!) >>>
Re: Computer related jokes
Here's "99 Bottles of Beer on The Wall" programmer version: 99 bugs in the programmers code, 99 bugs in his code! He squashes one now, tosses the code around and ends up with 127 bugs in his code!
How do you kill a programmer? Easy. Give him a bottle of shampoo that has the following directions: Wet hair, lather with shampoo, rinse shampoo, repeat. Make sure that it only says repeat, and not "repeat until desired effect is achieved" otherwise he may exit the loop early!
A boss of a major technological company is found dead. Upon questioning the lead programmer, he says "I was working on module d-thirty-four seven-h, to pass along to my boss". How do the detectives know the lead programmer murdered the boss? Answer: d-thirty-four seven-h can be written as D347H (DEATH), which the lead programmer gave to his boss.
A lazy programmer was having trouble remembering the math formula pi*r**2 (pi-r-squared). When it finally clicked to him, his peers were perplexed that he had used the variable z to represent the radius. Upon being asked about it, the lazy programmer said: "Heres why I used z. If p*r**2 = a, and you replace the 'r' with a 'z', you get pi*z**2 = a, and since anything squared is the number multiplied by itself, you get pi*z*z = a! You get a whole pizza! No toppings though..."
How do you kill a programmer? Easy. Give him a bottle of shampoo that has the following directions: Wet hair, lather with shampoo, rinse shampoo, repeat. Make sure that it only says repeat, and not "repeat until desired effect is achieved" otherwise he may exit the loop early!
A boss of a major technological company is found dead. Upon questioning the lead programmer, he says "I was working on module d-thirty-four seven-h, to pass along to my boss". How do the detectives know the lead programmer murdered the boss? Answer: d-thirty-four seven-h can be written as D347H (DEATH), which the lead programmer gave to his boss.
A lazy programmer was having trouble remembering the math formula pi*r**2 (pi-r-squared). When it finally clicked to him, his peers were perplexed that he had used the variable z to represent the radius. Upon being asked about it, the lazy programmer said: "Heres why I used z. If p*r**2 = a, and you replace the 'r' with a 'z', you get pi*z**2 = a, and since anything squared is the number multiplied by itself, you get pi*z*z = a! You get a whole pizza! No toppings though..."
Re: Computer related jokes
JohnBobSmith wrote:Make sure that it only says repeat, and not "repeat until desired effect is achieved" otherwise he may exit the loop early!
- Fred Barclay
- Level 12
- Posts: 4185
- Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2014 11:12 am
- Location: USA primarily
Re: Computer related jokes
"Emacs is a great operating system, lacking only a decent editor."
GNU-EMACS: Generally Not Used, Except by Middle-Aged Computer Scientists
And to show that I'm not partial:
"It’s true that vi vi vi is the editor of the beast, but using a free version of vi is not a sin, it’s a penance.” --Richard Stallman
"Vi has only two modes: 'beep repeatedly' and 'break everything'."
Seriously, though, can you imagine what any Windows users would think if they saw this? 9 out of 10 wouldn't even have a clue what we're referring to.
GNU-EMACS: Generally Not Used, Except by Middle-Aged Computer Scientists
And to show that I'm not partial:
"It’s true that vi vi vi is the editor of the beast, but using a free version of vi is not a sin, it’s a penance.” --Richard Stallman
"Vi has only two modes: 'beep repeatedly' and 'break everything'."
Seriously, though, can you imagine what any Windows users would think if they saw this? 9 out of 10 wouldn't even have a clue what we're referring to.
- Fred Barclay
- Level 12
- Posts: 4185
- Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2014 11:12 am
- Location: USA primarily
Re: Computer related jokes
"Hi! I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than any administrator."
Re: Computer related jokes
Hotmail password requires to be less than 16 characters...LOL...
- Pilosopong Tasyo
- Level 6
- Posts: 1432
- Joined: Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:26 am
- Location: Philippines
Re: Computer related jokes
Just in case this hasn't been posted already: espdiff manpage
o Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime!
o If an issue has been fixed, please edit your first post and add the word [SOLVED].
o If an issue has been fixed, please edit your first post and add the word [SOLVED].
Re: Computer related jokes
hehe, i cant remember if hotmail also does not accept "white spaces", "minus" or "underline".jahid wrote:Hotmail password requires to be less than 16 characters...LOL...
i was having issues with changing one of my aol email accounts it would not take the above. not sure about how many char thou
16 char is not that bad right? i cant remember recently i changed a password with a max of 14 char <--LOL
ATM on either bad key or trial
Re: Computer related jokes
It's bad for me, My mostly used passwords are more than 16 chars long....reddot wrote: 16 char is not that bad right?
Re: Computer related jokes
for about 19 years(1995-2014) i been using 6-8 char passwords, sometimes worse like 2 char for login to desktop or bios <---jahid wrote:It's bad for me, My mostly used passwords are more than 16 chars long....reddot wrote: 16 char is not that bad right?
now i dont know any of my passwords anymore, i use keepassX.
if i can, i use 24 or more, with all possible options,
its really scary to loose your kdb database or loose access, of course i backup!!!
Re: Computer related jokes
Haha RacerBG, that is funny! At least Bill Gates can count past 3.