god awful new interface

[Inkit]

XFCE seems to be close but so many things work different

I agree with you, and not only do they work different, because it is a bare basics desktop there are a number of features that doesn't come as standard with xfce. I've read that the new version 4.10 is supposed to have them, but if you're running latest, this update is still some time away (about a year I'd say)
A suggestion - Have you given KDE a try. I've tried KDE and to be honest, like it even more than xfce. It's got everything that I need for my work, and I also feel that it's more intuitive to use than gnome was. Yes, when I first installed the kde-full package, it came with all the packages I need and a lot more that I didn't. It took me a full day to sort through what I didn't want and uninstall it.
The CPU usage was also quite high at idle till I found that the nepomuk indexing service was the culprit. I have disabled it at startup and it is now idling at between 2 and 4%, just like gnome 2. And all this without reinstalling my LMDE. I just installed the KDE full package and it pulls in everything.
I still have xfce if not for anything but to prove to myself how much of a difference a DE can make to the speed of your comp. But also because KDE has some issues with playing some gnome games.

[KBD47]

My advice, dual boot. Use something Debian for stability, and something Ubuntu based for newer apps--that will eliminate about 75% of Linux problems, you get stability and newer software. If one isn't cutting it, reboot into the other version. Use two different desktops, if one isn't working out, log into the other desktop.
Lots of Linux complaining is justified, but 99% of the time there is an answer and a fix for the issue. Linux is free, except that it will cost you time. But there are no guarantees that Windows will not also need fixing and have issues, and if you don't like the Linux desktops, beware Win8. As for Mac, if you want to get locked into a closed system, that's a good choice, for myself, I'll take Linux even when it is a PITA.

[m spellman]

I liked KDE3,tried KDE4 when it came out but was not impressed. Actually liked 3 better. Liked LDME because it was a lot faster on old hardware than any of the Ubuntu derivatives. But there was that caution about a rolling distro,cutting edge and there will be problems such as those pesky dependency issues etc.And of course I did not pay attention or always understand what the next update would bring.
I have been impressed by the fact that none of the upgrades/updates have trashed my xserver and left me staring at a command line upon reboot. Hardware detection during boot in general has come a long way also.
I think my problems are twofold.
1) As an old guy experience has taught me "If it aint broke then don't fix it" especially if it works the way you want it to.
2) I can't bring myself to discard an old computer ( Athlon XP3000+ 2.2 Ghz single processor ) that still works fine so I try to find a fully functional OS than runs reasonably fast on it.
Windows 8 is not an option I will consider.
I have 1 WindowsXP system ( best OS Microsoft ever made ) that is used primarily for Photo and Video work. ( Quad core AMD3 ) and 1 windows 7 system with multiple interchangeable drives for Flight Sims.
I realize that even Linux has experienced some bloat over the years but Puppy Linux,while quite fast is not for me.
If I was a technical guru I would just get a copy of Gentoo or Slackware and build my own system. Tried that with Debian a few years ago but it did not go well. Some make it look easy but I made it look impossible.
So I will continue the search for something simple,functional and for me intuitive. As Captain Kirk would say. Engage.

[Inkit]

If you liked the LMDE of old, there is one thing you can do. If you have the old iso, install from that, and then point your repos to the debian squeeze ones. You will probably not get any updates for some time because that iso itself was forward of the squeeze one. I have done this in the past and know that it works.
http://community.linuxmint.com/tutorial/view/497 is a tutorial that works. Just bear in mind that this turotial was for an even older iso and some of the things need not be done. for example you need not purge openoffice because libreoffice comes as standard.